woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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