the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
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he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
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And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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