Swine flu. Run for my life!
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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