my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
