I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
