you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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