no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
