Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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