Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
