At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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