I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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