Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
