can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
