she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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