They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
