just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm like, not good at living.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
