it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize