Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize