She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
