so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
