What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
