I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
