Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
