ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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