Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
