Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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