I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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