i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The power of my boobs compel you
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
