Sry I called you an 8
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
