no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
