I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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