So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Oh god it's open bar.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
