I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
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No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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