In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize