I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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