i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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