Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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