You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
