OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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