wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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