Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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