Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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