theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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