that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
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Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
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