my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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