if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm drive I can fine osifer
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
