New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
only you would photoshop your dick
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize