Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
