shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
