just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
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I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
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you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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