I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I lost the right to judge tonight
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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