their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
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I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
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She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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