he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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