so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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