So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
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