she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
